Believer

I was the luckiest girl in the world. I guess every girl feels like that when they find love, but for me, it was actually true, or so I thought till the day I took a long flight home.

I had met the man of my dreams almost by chance. Till then, I did not believe in chance, because randomness never favored me. My roommate Sonika had referred me to a job at her office and I was going to appear for an interview there. As I stepped into the premises of the office and walked through its carefully manicured walkway, I was trying to get a copy of my CV out of my bag. It’s always good to be prepared.

Just then there was a gust of wind and that rogue sheaf of paper chose to fly away and land exactly on his face. I was so embarrassed to be a rude intrusion in his day, but he was a complete gentleman. Anshul. He introduced himself, without any inhibition at all. He called it fate, to have met like this. I did not get the job, but I did walk out with the phone number of this absolutely gorgeous man.

What ensued was predictable. We went to the movies, exchanged notes on our sun signs, talked about our hobbies, went on a couple of coffee dates, even a book reading. Now that I think about it, maybe the book reading was a bit much. We were both very interested in one another and it was very apparent to our friends too when we introduced them. I loved it when Anshul told them the story about how we met, always underscoring the hand of fate in getting us together. Sonika would say his obsession with fate was a little on the unhealthy side. He knew his birth chart by heart, if anyone would tell him their date and time of birth, he was perfectly capable of drawing a birth chart for that person as well.

He was very comfortable talking about how the position of Mars would be affecting one’s job prospects, or how the Dominance of Saturn would afflict one’s health. Though I have never been much of a believer in these things, I was not one to dissuade him from his interests. On our third date, he asked me about my birthday. There was nothing odd in that. I have been quite a Linda Goodman enthusiast myself in my school days, routinely checking the daily newspapers to check how the day would go for Libra. It was important to know what could potentially be in store, especially if I had not done my homework that day. My aim was mainly to deflect the blame in case things went south. So curiosity about my birthday did not really seem out of place by any means. In fact I found it really sweet. The dating scene these days was dismal at best, to find a person who actually cared to take notes was a rarity that I was not ready to give up on. He took out a small blue notebook, noted my birthday. I pulled up the menu card in front of my face to hide the slight blush and look of absolute glee that spread across my face. When I brought down the shield I was holding up to hide my evident interest, I saw him still scribbling in his notebook. I kept the menu card on the adjacent table and bent forward over the tiny table that separated us.

“Now noting one date can’t take that long?” I ventured, trying to come off as casual and nonchalant.

Without taking his eyes off the book, he started saying, “You will not get a job immediately, Mercury is retrograde. You were saying you have an interview scheduled on Monday, right, try to push it by a week.”

But then again, everyone is allowed a few quirks and seeing how he was an all round gentleman, I was ready to settle for this small idiosyncrasy.

After I returned home, I could not shrug off the niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach. After fighting off the temptation for a while, I called the recruiter and informed him of a “personal exigency” and got my interview rescheduled.

The next week as I walked into the office for the interview I was buoyant with confidence, after all the shadow of Mercury had moved away and I had a skip in my step. I aced the interview and secured my dream job. After that, there was no stopping me. He and I were inseparable now, my friends said they had never seen me this happy. Coming out of a few troubled relationships, he gave me so much solace. Sonika was surprised to see my sudden belief in birth charts and interest in purchasing various kinds of gemstones, she was happy to see me in a happy place, even though that meant I moved out of our shared home of three years and moved in with Anshul.

My latent believer was nurtured by his presence in my life. Everything I did appeared to be under the shadow and blessings of the stars now. Buying a car, a house, planning to travel - nothing was beyond the signs. The mathematics of reading the signs was so interesting that I spent hours talking and learning the art from him. He happily encouraged my interest and shared his knowledge with me, until I could independently draw charts and make my own assessments. A whole new vista opened up in front of me and I was unstoppable, it appeared I had taken off the training wheels from my bike and I was ready to fly, and fly I did, untethered.

It was Sonika’s birthday and I had planned a surprise for her. I was going to take her to the movies and then go for dinner. But right before I stepped out of the house, Anshul told me there was some ill fated Saturn this evening and perhaps it would be a better idea to stick home. Though sometimes, I was able to spot things even Anshul missed, I took his word and asked Sonika to come home. Though she is a great movie buff, she did not mind coming over and we indeed had a great time. She had warmed up to the idea of my beliefs and had stopped teasing me about the gemstones I kept adorning my rings with.

I was happy to see her get along with Anshul as well. It appeared that she finally approved of him. She was a tad skeptical at first but his steadfastness had melted even her heart. Getting a man who loves you is one thing, but actually having him get along with your friend is quite the other! I again counted my blessings at having these wonderful people all around me. As we raised a toast, my eyes were glassy with emotion, wanting to hold on to this moment for years to come.

My new job needed me to travel quite a lot, and the added responsibilities at work kept me away for days. But whenever I was planning a travel, I would be at my charts, ensuring that the timing is perfect. I laugh at the faces of people who call this a pseudo science, if you have some tools to improve your life, you should seize them by all means. That is scientific thought. People who dismissed this without an iota of evidence were in fact the most narrow minded and I really had no time to defend my beliefs to them.

It was on one of these trips, when I had boarded the flight to return home and something made me feel really restless. With my phone almost out of battery, I borrowed some paper from the airhostess and started scribbling. Right before I boarded the flight, Anshul had called me a couple of times but I could not get to his calls. I was terribly late to catch the flight and it was only by some miracle (read a good position of Jupiter today for me) allowed me to get on board. I thought I will call him once I was on board, but he was not available then. He left a mysterious text, “Called you, we need to talk”

I wondered what it was, maybe the electricity bill. But I was pretty sure that was taken care of already. We had been planning to develop the balcony garden but surely he would not leave that text for this reason. So I focused on drawing charts, but as I drew, my heart sank. The Sun was in the twelfth house for me, this did not bode well for a relationship and it was quite clear as day. But as I drilled down further, I did see some positive signs that could help us cross this bad weather. I know I have been a little emotionally unavailable for the past couple of weeks but that was largely due to work, maybe he wanted to talk about that? Nothing made sense to me and I rolled up the paper and tossed it in my purse.

As I walked out of the airport and hailed a cab, I called Anshul, but again it went on ringing and he did not pick up. I called Sonika, maybe talking to a friend would ease this? No luck. Finally I reached home a little before midnight. Anshul was sitting on the couch and greeted me with a subdued “Hey!”

Sonika was there too. Wait, what’s happening, I thought to myself. Is this an intervention, is this a break up?

Anshul cleared his throat as he took the suitcase from my hand and kept it in the hall. I noticed how he did not take it inside to our bedroom, but kept it lying in the hall. Like I was a guest. Then he took my hand and made me sit on the sofa. A thousand thoughts were running through my head. The Sun was in the twelfth house and that does forbode an infidelity, is something going on between these two that I could not understand. Yes, that must be it, for what other reason did he have to suddenly have me cancel her birthday plans and have me move the party to the house. I recall he had also got a neat gift for her. Never got a thoughtful gift for me in two years, but her birthday he remembers. I have been blind, absolutely blind to what’s been as plain as day in front of my eyes all along. These two have been getting cozy right beneath my nose. I threw a sharp look at Sonia, who was standing behind the couch with a sheepish face. It’s almost midnight Sonika, what are you doing in your friend’s apartment with her boyfriend when your friend is not even there? Have some shame. And Anshul, this person I gave my heart to - how could he do this to me? My mind was racing, my heart was pounding.

I wanted to throw an equally nasty look at him as he held my hand, when I looked at him I saw he had a ring in his other hand, “Will you marry me, Nidhi?”

“But..” I started, thinking of the Sun in the twelfth house and all the other signs that told me this will not work out. Then I squeezed his hand and said “Yes.”

It’s been ten years since that day, the last time I drew a chart was the one on the flight home. I didn’t need charts, I was home.